There are times when I feel like I’m slipping into a surrealistic abyss for which there is no escape. Many times I welcome the escape – the blur of the fine lines between physical reality and the astral planes. But most times I find myself kicking and screaming not to be sucked in by the void. But no matter what I do – every day I slip a little bit further into the unknown and closer to my destiny. And today has been no different.
I am amazed at the sheer will power of Will. For as forceful as his presence is in my mind and energy field, he exudes the same strength of kindness. I don’t know how to describe it — hummm…..have you ever sat outside under a cloudy sky and catch a chill? Just when you’re ready to pack it in and go inside, the clouds open up and your caught in the warmth of a sunbeam. Will’s that sunbeam. That’s him – strength and radiated warmth, comfort and zest. I push to know more about this man – as much as I can. I can feel that the physical meet is close – real close.
Bill, Bill, Bill — (SIGH) when I asked you for a sign that didn’t have any subtext, you were right when I meant make it simple. But a simple blurb from you is never simple. Your words, your choices of poems, excerpts, articles are just like you — full of layers and sprinkled with subtext. So if you are giving me a sign, I’m not getting it completely as the doubt if the messages are directed at me are still full of uncertainty. When I say make it simple, instead of giving me a simple poem about anything – could you give me a simple poem on connections or making contact. That I would understand — and appreciate.
I know — I need to update more. I’m trying – honest. But this upcoming week is more insane than last:
– On Monday, I start my weekly online event at The L Word’s virtual world – Second Life. If you’re in the states you can sign up and join this community for free: http://www.sho.com/site/lword/second_life.do I’ll be chatting weekly as Alison Ashby (last names you choose from a list) from Whispers Media all about sex, naughty toys and erotica events;) It starts at 8:00 pm EST and goes on until whenever!
– On Thur/Fri I will be in NYC to attend the Playgirl party. Yes – I said Playgirl:) It ought to be fun!
The back of my neck has been sensitive today. Real sensitive as if someone has been trailing their lips up and down all the right spots. I can’t believe the number of times today I’ve had to stop what I was doing just to rub my neck in hopes that the sensation goes away. Because quite frankly – my neck is the most sensitive area on me — if it gets kissed in just the right spot – I’m toast. I just hope it come back during the night!
Speaking of night – I haven’t been sleeping worth a damn. I am up all of the time – especially since Will consciously entered my life. At first I wasn’t spending much time in the hotels/resorts that I used to dream in — but now I’m there every night. A real nice place, real swanky and all with comfort abound. But in the dreams I know that it is just temporary and I’ll be moving on. Will is there – in almost every scene. I’m spending a lot of time in school too. But now I’m not looking for my class or instructor – but actually taking the classes. I only wish that my conscious mind could grasp hold of more dream memories.
I have discovered, though, Will’s purpose in my life or at least part of the purpose. He and I are to show the world that there is reincarnation, life after death, that the deceased CAN hear the living and that it is possible to communicate. Bill, Ted and I are to do something on a healing level that has to do with Atlantis. I’m pretty sure that Bill and Ted’s work comes after Will and I — but I’m not sure who I will physically be in contact with first. My intuition is telling me Will – but as with everything, time will tell. I just honestly cannot wait to tell you who Will is or at least more about him on a personal level so that you can get a better picture of who I’m talking about.
Now – Bill and Ted. Bill is extremely busy — stupid busy actually – but he is doing well. When he’s this busy he always pulls back — but I know that when things have calmed a bit — he will be back with a vengeance. Now – as I typed that, there went my neck again — hummm….I really do think he is making headway with he and I. As I’ve discovered with Will – it takes a lot to all of a sudden find someone in your energy field that you think you know — but you’re not sure why you should know – or how this person fits into your life. So I have more empathy for both Bill and Ted — because now I GET it:)
Ted, is doing rather poorly. I can feel him reach out and when I reach back – he pulls away as if my touch wounds him. I can feel the depression and the insecurity. But I can’t help him unless he lets me in. Do I still feel that he is sick? Yes – no doubt – which I think his mortality is getting the better of him. If only he would take better care of himself……
Astral sex — yes please:) LOL! In the many times that I’ve awoken this week – it’s been well, difficult to go right back to sleep because of the intensity of the sexual high I was on. It’s Mr. Will – make no mistake or should I say — I’ve not made the mistake of thinking it was Bill or Ted (man I sound like an astral hussy – don’t I?) and Will is so different than the other two. With him I’m made to feel like I’m a precious gift that is meant to be unwrapped slowly and deliberately. He also isn’t sexually overpowering during my waking hours either – but he’s always there, watching, smiling and waiting.
Yes, I have more thoughts about Will. I keep thinking about what we are supposed to do in this life. I sense that he’ll die before me (and before Bill & Ted) and because we have time before he dies (I’m thinking a long illness) we have everything set in place about what he is to do on the other side – so together we can show everyone that there is still a life without a body and people can communicate. I had a flash vision of me at his funeral – I was a flipping wreck – inconsolable and really not wanting to be alive. Hopefully I can alter things so that I either do not feel so much pain or better yet – am equipped to handle it better.
I’m tired. I think I’ll call it a night soon:) Wish me good luck this week and send me some extra light please – I could use it:)