I need a cheat sheet for all of the pseudonyms I am using. I’m starting to forget who is who. Especially now since there is someone else to add to the cast of characters — he has been on my radar for about eight years now, but always on the outskirts and I really didn’t give him a second thought. That is until last night. My reaction to what happened – holy shit! And I so mean that. I put off writing about this until this evening in hopes that whatever in the hell is going on will subside and I can pass it off as – well, something other than what it is turning out to be.
And this has truly thrown me for a loop and a half. I am so compelled to talk about this man that I am using his real name — yes folks, you heard correctly, his real name — Will. Last names are not important at this time.
This blue-eyed handsome man is friends with John (the guy from the other day and who BTW — has green eyes). Last night I had a dream visit with John, very short but nice. I told him that I had to go and meet Bill. John smiled and faded from view.
Next thing I know I’m by a lake. It’s a nice summer’s evening. The lake is surrounded by trees and has a nice ripple on top from fish hitting topside. I look down to my left and there is a red, black and white checkered quilt on the ground. Next thing I know, Will is standing there with a picnic basket. He smiles, his blue eyes twinkle and he says – I’m glad to see you made it. Skeptical, I ask made what? I’m supposed to meet Bill. Here he asks? No, I don’t think so I reply. There is some small chit chat and he pulls out of the picket basket wine, fruit, chocolate and he keeps pulling things out. I asked him, is it a bottomless basket? He smiles and tells me that in the dream world anything is possible, just like in the movies.
We chat more about what, I don’t know. He would slip into a southern drawl and I loved it. We talked about what I physically like in a man — I tell him 1st I look at the eyes, then the smiles and finally the butt. I comment that with him I know that I like the eyes and the smile. So he jumps up and wiggles his jean-covered butt. I tell him that it too has passed the Allie test. We got a laugh out of that.
I remember something about him saying he was single as he’s been looking for me. We chat briefly about Bill and Ted. He asks if they had ever kissed me like this — he leanes in, cups my face in his hands and the kiss I swear, was sent straight from the heavens. His touch was so – gentle. He tells me that he is the one from my past lives that I always tried to get away from. That he had made my past lives a living hell and he vowed that in this life he would make it up to me.
And he gave me another kiss that made every cell in my body scream that I wanted to rip off his clothes. It woke me up. I sat up in bed, breathing like I had just run a marathon and thinking — what in the hell just happened?
I laid there for hours, not being able to go back to sleep, but too tired to get up.
Finally I did get up, do some things around the house and went to get my shower while my son was still sleeping. My clothes are off and I’m about to step in the shower when I hear — Allie? Allie can you hear me? It’s Will’s voice. I answer – yes I can (while I’m trying not to freak out). He can’t believe he has a connection – I can’t believe what’s going on. As I can hear his voice, the same rush of energy and warmness runs through my body as when I have a telepathic connection to Bill or Ted. So I know that this is not my imagination. Will goes on to say that he’s been looking for me his whole life. And now that he found me and I’ve been receptive, he doesn’t want me to go. He keeps saying – I found you, I found you – please don’t shut me out. I promise him that I won’t. We “chat” some more and he leaves and I take my shower.
Now while I’m showering I call out to Jezell to come here – ASAP. She arrives and asks what is the emergency. I ask about Will. She says yes — we’ve been expecting him. WE?? We, I say? Who is the We cause it sure wasn’t me. She goes on to explain the he is part of my Divine plan. This is why John has been in my face for the last year or two and really – right there – the last couple of weeks. So you guys used John so I would notice Will? Would you have noticed Will otherwise? I’m sure I would of – I say — maybe someday. Jezell says we both know you wouldn’t have because you are too wrapped up with Bill and Ted. We know that you respect John and find him attractive, and since he is friends with Will (in real life) and has heard his story about you back in 1997, he agreed to help.
Heard about me in 1997? Yes, Jezell replies — Will has known about you since then and has been searching for you ever since. He knew who you were and what you looked like, but that was it. He was told that if he did this and that back in 97/98 that by 2007 you would find him and here you are.
My legs suddenly felt like Jell-O and I sat down in the shower. He’s been searching for me all this time? Yes — and he was even with an Alison because he thought that she might be you. He found out no – that she was not you, but connections were made between them that he couldn’t just walk away.
What am I supposed to do with this? With him? Jezell asks — how did he make you feel when he spoke to you, when you heard his voice? I sat for a second — then replied — like I was the most important person in the world. Exactly Jezell says – so why does anything else matter? And she leaves.
So today I didn’t block out Will, but went on with my day. He kept popping in to see if the connection was still there and I assured him it was. He did say that he cannot wait for me to go to sleep tonight. That I am to think out to him when I fall asleep and he will see me there.
I’m trying desperately not to over-think this – trying not to panic. But is it a coincidence that this comes out on the Winter Solstice? We all know that all things happen for a reason when they are supposed to happen. And for this to happen on this important magical day is well – something out of a fairy tale.
I don’t have a clue what happens next — but I’m scared, excited and curious all rolled up into one. I feel comfortable using his real name, because I know that if he came across this blog, he wouldn’t care who knew about him and the connection. He simply wouldn’t care and damn — that makes me feel great. That and he does have a nice smile. When he smiles the skin around his eyes crinkle and his eyes twinkle. For a man that is 53, he looks really good.
In case I don’t have a chance to tell you because of the busyness of the weekend — have a very happy holiday no matter how you celebrate it. And I thank you for being a part of my life!
Postnote (02/13/07): I am trying to go back and add labels to the past posts -at least some of them as there are over 400. In going back through, I realize that I mentioned Will in both the 9/29/06 & 10/02/06 posts – but I did not know who he was. Funny that I gave him the fake name of Will to start with before I could figure things out and that is what his name really is!