I had a flash vision of Will today that was very disturbing and I need to confront him in a session so that I can remember the most of the exchange between us. I grabbed my wand and within moments I was in the south, reminded me of Georgia. I see Will leaning against a Willow Tree next to a creek. I smile at him, he smiles back and I ask him what is he doing? He says waiting for me – been waiting all day yesterday and today…..seems he can’t get a plum thing done seeing that all he is thinking about is me. He asks – what were you doing. I smile and said working. He cups my face in his hands and replies – so what’s new?
I grab a twig off the ground and fidget with it in my hands as I walk around.
What’s on your mind Sunshine? Will asks.
That brought yet another smile to my face So you call me Sunshine too?
I’ve called you Sunshine for well…eternity. Who else calls you that? Bill?
I nod.
Figures…Will retorts.
I had a vision today that really bothered me. I or we I should say were in I guess a villa. It was warm, I could hear water. We had just put our clothes on after making love and you were in a hurry for me to do so – to get my clothes on. I’m standing, you walk up to me and I could tell by your eyes that something horrible was about to happen – you had so much pain, yet love in your eyes. You grab the back of my head and pull me to you, kissing me with such force. I pull back and you’re crying. You say — I’m so sorry — I hope you can forgive me. Before I could say what?? You shot me in the stomach, right below the rib cage. And watched me as I died, you never took your eyes off of me – not for a second. The last thing I can see is you sobbing.
I have no clue when, where or what time period this was. But I can’t get at is why you killed me?
Was I wearing a white suit? He asks….
I don’t remember — but you were tan.
Will sighs. Hold my hands…he says. Will sits and sticks his hands out – palms up, I sit in front of him and grab his hands. In unison we close our eyes. I can feel my hands growing very hot. And I see it — Will after he shoots me.
He lays me down, and there is a noise behind him. A deep voice says something I can’t tell and two men come and grab Will. The deep voice shouts that he did a stupid thing – killing me. But he’ll have fun torturing Will.
Cut to — I don’t know where….but Will has tons of slices in his body and he refuses to speak about the location of something. They give him another chance – he doesn’t say anything. They toss him into something — I can’t see what or where — all I can hear are his screams of pain. I break the connection with Will.
You killed me to save me? Will nods, tears pouring down his cheeks. I knew what they would do to you – the rape, the torture, the horrible death. You didn’t know they were coming but I did. Who were they? I ask. Will shakes his head — I don’t know, I can’t see past that scene and past the pain. It’s too much -the pain. But what I do know is that we knew a secret — something wonderful and healing in the right hands, but dark and deadly in the wrong hands. We were sworn to secrecy. He manages a weak smile – I loved you to the end.
A loud sound jolts me out of the session. Dang that six year old and his role-playing of Star Wars. For a kid who doesn’t like loud noises, he is the loudest kid I know.
You know, looking back at what he said when I first connected with Will last year — no wonder he and I both think that he has done all of these horrible things to me — especially if he’s only been carrying around part of that memory.
Off to watch Armageddon!
Crystal Sunshine!
Allie 😉
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