I’m tired today – but not as bad as I’ve been. Last night I slept like a semi-rock. I say semi because I don’t think I’ve slept like a “rock” without waking up at some point since 1996 or so. Any ways – I think it’s in part to the question I had asked about Bill – I got my answer.
My Question: Will Bill honor our soul agreement in this lifetime?
Monte’s Answer: I feel that he’s on a different path than you are and even though he loves you, I don’t see that meaning that your path and his will be be forever…not in a relationship of love…but more of a Spiritual kind-ship…He’s not satisfied with his life right now and wants more than you do so he’s looking a lot more down the road….You’re looking more in the now and you both need to be looking at what life offers for each of you along the same path, not what you get versus what he gets….What I’m saying is; Your priority should be to want the same thing or negotiate them to a conclusion so you each know what’s most important.
My Response: Unfortunately for Bill and I the balls in his court and has been for the last 5 years. I have no way to contact him in the physical realm – but he stops by my blog to check in on me and he has my phone number. There’s so much more we could accomplish for the world together than separate. It’s frustrating. Especially since I know he’s not satisfied with his life and he’s looking for more. The nightly dream and daily telepathic contact is nice but….
Monte’s Answer: ***This is holding you back as an attachment so ‘Let Go, Let GOD’, everything has a purpose so don’t allow this BIG issue of yours distract you from where you need to be Spiritually….I do understand and feel your frustration at the lack of of an acceptable reason for Bill to be with you on your path, but he has work to do before he can accept a partner in his life just as you have your work to do….Release him with love and let Guidance take it from there…
He went on to tell me about his experience which was similar to mine. He told me about removing attachments and because of that one of his guides left and a new one arrived. This got me to thinking — I haven’t had a new guide in a very long time. Maybe before my divorce. Before I got divorced, I must of been doing some major growth because I had a lot of guides come and go.
Last night I decided to ask the universe to remove anyone or anything from my life that wasn’t for my highest good. When I went to sleep I felt lighter. I don’t remmeber Bill or Will being in any of my dreams.
In the shower this morning I remembered something that Monte said – he consciously removed the attachments. So as I was rinsing off I brought to me each of the guys – said “Go in peace, do what you have to do, and then come back.” Next was my 2 exes. For them I said: “Go in peace and never come back.” Each one I sent out into a brilliant white light. All of them were rather easy to let go of but Ted. My heart chakra felt heavy, then had a vibration and a tug. He looked horrible as I let him go – but I knew I had to.
As soon as the last one was gone – some of my current guides took a bow and left: Ethan, Edward and Robert (all 3 said they would be back at some time) and Iris (who said she’s not coming back). Then I heard a high pitch sound and saw a very vibrant golden light. I heard a female voice say that she was here now. I recognized the energy immedately from a past life regression I had 3 or 4 years ago. If I could figure out how to transfer the regression session from a cassette tape to here I would. Anyways — in the regression session this soul/light came through me to talk to Cindy (the regressionist). This light was part of my star past.
I asked her name. She said it was a sound – close to what we could say is a “C”. She told me to give her a name if it made it easier. So I called her Gloria. She told me I was one of the Star Children – Ted and I. This was something I already knew. Then she said that my son is also a Star Child – he was Ted and I child – and becaue he is a star like me, it’s one of the major reasons he and I butt heads. His soul is almost as old as mine and like me – he’s a leader not a follower.
Gloria then went on to say that I sabatage myself because I’m not like everyone – and I want to be like everyone. So I do what I have to in order to remain – normal. Well as normal as I can be 🙂 She then showed me a diagram…went something like this:
STAR PEOPLE (1% of all souls)
MOST OF THE SOULS (98% of all souls)
DARK SOULS (1 % of all souls)
She went on to explain that if I deny who I am – then the scale tips in the Dark Soul’s favor. Especially since Ted and my son have no clue about their light – yet.
I asked if we’re all stronger when we’re connected – then did I do the wrong thing by releasing the attachments to the guys? She said no. Even though on the physical plane the attachments were cut, on the spiritual plane we’re all connected. On the physical plane they were (unconsiously) draining the light from me. In order for me to “shine” then I have to refuel and allow my light to shine through. When the guys are all strong enough on their own – that means they completed their tasks – and they will all be back (with the exception of the exes, of course).
I ran a few plans past Gloria and she liked them. When I go to impliment them into GA or OBE, I’ll let you guys know:) Since our convo this morning – she is off my right side – the light is constant and strong. I know there was much more said during our talk, but right now I don’t remember all of it.
Off to the side of the blog I put links to my Twitter page and my new Facebook page.
It feels nice to be writing in the blog again.