I am immediately taken inside of the glacier from my earlier vision. The air is heavy in here – very heavy. In the center, Bill sits on a rock and reads my letter. I can tell that he has read it multiple times as it shows sign of wear. I whisper to him – Bill? He looks up at me – tears are in his eyes. He says – I don’t know. I don’t know what to do. What does your heart tell you? I ask. To dig deeper, to read, to research – to reach out to you – to call Ted. What does your head tell you? To rip this letter up and never give it another thought. This will bring too much trouble. Trouble to who – I ask? To you, to me, to our families. You don’t know my family – I say. Or really me for that matter. You have no idea what I and my family are capable of. We’re strong people – always have – always will be. There isn’t anything that can be thrown at us that we cannot handle – no matter how tough. You’re not trying to save our butts. You are SCARED – pure and simple. Change does not suit you well and you just want to be left alone – I say. You’ve never been in the fishbowl before he says. Yes I have. He raises an eyebrow – when? Last week, during a session. He laughs. That doesn’t count – he says.
Then no – I never have been. It’s hell he says. Your life isn’t your own.
Then get out – I say. He looks at me. Does the money mean that much to you? He says – no. Would you be okay with that – he asks? Of course I would! I don’t want to get to know you because of your money – or what you are….it’s WHO you are is what I want to know.
What about Ted? He asks. What about him – is my reply. I don’t know…I can’t hurt him. I cross my arms – then fine – introduce him to me. What? His jaw twitches. If you are so worried about hurting him – then don’t. Introduce us as we’ll be fine. You can live your life – we’ll live ours and we’ll see each other on holidays. This way you won’t have to worry about me, my family, the fishbowl and if you hurt Ted. Plus – we’ll still be in contact as good friends. He scrunches up his nose – tugs on his ear a few times.
I’ll think about it – he says. Fine – you do that..I reply.
The glacier dissolves around us. The cold is gone and we are in our meadow – it still shows signs of spring.
You’ll take good care of him – he asks? You shouldn’t have to ask that – I reply. I know, he says.
Do you know what to do now – I ask? I’m going to talk to some people, get some opinions. Then I’ll decide.
With that he turns around and vanishes right in front of me. I’m done.
My head hurts from banging it on my desk (BIG FRICKEN SIGH). The letter was supposed to clear up the confusion – not create more. What’s wrong with change? Nothing stays the same forever, we all know that. So why waste the energy to fight hard to keep things status quo? You can’t ignore destiny. Plain and simple. Because if you could I would be a well-off CPA today – not a starving writer/reader. Do you know how many times I tried to ignore, detour around and forget my writing talent and my psychic gifts? Thousands of times – yet….here I am.
I keep getting a nagging urge to go check my PO box. Maybe I will tomorrow.