I have to write this down before I forget. I’m in a gift shop and I see the scarf I bought at the new age show for $5 , boxed up with a price tag of $12. I look to the left of it and there are these strips of yellow mirrors (?) in a box that I really want but I’m thinking if the scarf is overpriced so will these. I instead choose a pair of shorts to try on. I go to the changing room, with the wooden swinging double doors and small bench with mirror but both sides have clothes hanging (from each changing room, one across from the other) from it and you can not change in there. So I move to the other end and find a changing room. This one is much bigger, blue tile floor. I notice that another woman across the way is hanging up clothes for her to try on, but neither of us had flipped on the light switch. I do flip it on and hear a male voice. I look behind me and the long horizontal mirror ( that was up high and you couldn’t use to look at yourself) was slid over. I hear a male voice and I inquire who is there. I can’t remember what he says, but I feel uneasy taking off my pants to try on the shorts. Not really because I know he is back there – but because I haven’t shaved my legs. I say screw it and am trying on the shorts anyways with my back to him when he asks if I wear a bra. I reply – with the size of these tits you must be joking. He laughed. The shorts, I couldn’t get up past mid thigh so I took them off and put on my pants – all the while this man is flirting with me from behind the wall. I keep thinking that it is Bill. I know that I recognize the voice.
Next thing I know I’m in a gym with my son and it is full of people. I know that the voice behind the wall is here, I can sense him and I can even see him from behind. He has on a green shirt and jeans, dark hair, rather long I think, down to mid neck maybe? But his back is always to me and I cannot see his face. My son and I decide to get on the ground and work on our writing with the other kids. My hope is that he will turn around and I can see him. I manage to sit next to a couple of adult teachers who say that they are making coffee (the coffee machine is right there) but they would rather have wine. A big laugh. The man in the green shirt disappears.
Now I am watching an interview with Ted. He is on a bus? And I’m right there watching him. He and a woman are talking, he is typing away on a purple key board. The woman is massaging his hands. She says that if he had a girlfriend she could do this. He says he’s single. She offers to be his girlfriend and they laugh about it. The interview ends and he and I chat a bit. I’m thinking to myself – Allie , this is the 3rd time you’ve been with him tonight, why haven’t you talked about you, him and Bill? What in the hell are you waiting for? Another voice says that now isn’t the time. He is walking through this maze on the bus and me and a guy follow. He is now sitting down, coat on, short hair with a stubble beard. His face is in his hands. I ask him what is wrong and he mentions that he is waiting for a package. He is always waiting and it doesn’t seem to arrive.
Me and this man leave and we tell him not to tell Superman (which the guy and I know to be Bill) that we were here, and surprisingly enough, Ted knows who we are talking about. He says he won’t tell and we leave. I comment to the guy – I can’t believe he knew who we were talking about without mentioning his name – the guy agreed and said that Ted knows more than he is willing to admit. Then I hear a voice that it is time — and I wake up.
I woke up shaking uncontrollably, like I do when I have too much energy or when I am brought back suddenly from an astral trip. I think that this is both.
After writing all of this down, I am surprised that I wasn’t the least bit embarrassed to take off my clothes in front of the man behind the wall. It didn’t bother me in the least that he was there. What bothered me is that I had hairy legs and I didn’t want him to see them. In real life I would have throttled the SOB instead of flirting with him. But I keep thinking that this was Bill. When I asked him why he was back there – he said he was the owner of the building and this changing room was broken. I did look down on the floor and notice something was amiss – but I don’t know what right now.
With Ted- as the camera rolled and people were around for the interview he was happy, smiling and looked great. As soon as the camera turned of and all went away (but me and this guy) he looked depressed, tired haggard — just a mess. I can remember briefly a previous dream visit of the night with him where I had to go somewhere and he was desperate to have me stay – begging me to do so. I promise him that I’ll be back and he goes on saying that I always promise him, but that I never come back. Tears poured down his face. I felt horrible but I knew that I had to leave.
I wrote all of the above when I woke up this morning – since then I keep getting flash visions of Ted telling me he will not release me to Bill. And Bill and I chat about this, he doesn’t say much but his jaw twitches and he walks off.
And the day has just begun:)
You know, I just had a thought. For weeks there has been a man that has been showing up in my thoughts, visions and dreams. I’m sure that I have mentioned him before – maybe I haven’t with the way my mind has been working lately, but if I did I forget what name I gave him — I’ll call him John. He keeps showing up and Ted has been having a cow about it. He says that he isn’t going to share me with Bill, he sure in the hell isn’t going to share me with John. Any way – John owns a building that used to be a drugstore and if I think about that place I was in, it did remind me of a drugstore. Could have been John behind the wall? Maybe? With Bill being on the gym floor?