I decided to sit today with my wand, the Malibu stone, Mica and surrounded by the three crystals. My right hand, in which sits the side of the wand with the Generator Crystal, Emerald, Ruby, Sapphire and Moldavite, was just sparking up a storm during the whole session. I had to keep moving my right hand because it kept getting zapped by little zaps. Reminded me of a group of electric gnats biting my hand. When I was finished – the Mica and Malibu stone had the same zapping energy. My poor hands – LOL!
I entered today into what looked like a lobby – with a shiny marble floor, red velvet drapes, gold leaf designs on the trim. I was by myself. In a flash a whole crowd of people were walking around and my sister was at my side. I’m looking around and I see Bill off in the distance – next to him is Clive, Frank and Ted. I whisper to my sister how good they look. Frank looks at me and waves – elbows Bill and nods in my direction. He sees me and his face lights up. He is being called to go in a different direction – but makes a beeline to me. He gives me a kiss on the cheek and says that he’s glad I could make it. His smile is so big and genuine – melts my heart.
Time reverses itself to the start of this day. I am at an outdoor cafe with a woman. Bill joins us. He shakes my hand and we both get an electrical zap that takes us both by surprise. The lunch is going well. But Bill and I chat more among the two of us than with the woman. I can see her sit back and smile. Our legs are resting against one another and there is such energy passing between us. Neither one of us moves our leg. Bill points to something out on the ocean. I don’t have my glasses so I can’t see. He asks the woman if she can excuse us for a minute and she says sure.
With his hand on my back to guide me, we go across the deck, down the deck and down the stairs to the beach. His is pointing at something but I can’t see it. So he puts his face next to mine – on the right – and points again. Now it’s not that I can’t see – but his breath is on my neck. I can feel myself about to turn to puddy when the day fast forwards into where I started.
It gets a bit jumbled here. I’m now an observer as well as a participant… I see reading something, but he isn’t sure what to do. I feel him watch me. We jump to him asking me many questions. Then I’m getting a very deep and meaningful kiss.
Ted arrives on the astral plane and grasps my elbow. He tells me why am I wasting my time on Bill? I tell him to stop it. He goes on – that Bill will reject me – that he is the one that loves me – that no matter how many times I reject the idea, it’s him, not Bill that I will be with.
I ask him why is he doing this to me? He replies because I love you. It’s his turn. He is tired of being second. I tell him that no one is second. He says in this – yes he is second. He promises to love me, to take care of me. I tell him that I’m not a housewife. He knows he says – he doesn’t want that. He doesn’t want to change me – he only wants to love me.
Someone must be waking him up because he is being pulled backwards and he doesn’t want to go. The last thing he says is that Bill will reject me. That hurt. With tears in my eyes Brigit arrives, behind her is Jesus. I am asked – am I ready? I say yes. I go to add a “but” — but nothing comes out. Jesus kisses me on my forehead and tell me that I have the love and the blessings of the Divine at my side — always.
Then I wake up.
Ted has really been “right there” lately. I even had a dream the other night where I ordered an astrology reading online. I print it out – there is someone next to me – and one line jumps out “Allie with be with Ted first” I was stunned as there was no info entered about the guys for the reading – nor did I use my name – I made one up. So to find my name, along with Ted, through me for a loop. I was denying it with whomever was next to me. I was pretty mad.
I keep getting a sense that either Bill is reading this blog or the woman friend of his (who I mentioned several weeks ago was a negative influence on him) is reading it. But I’ve got that overwhelming sensation that somehow Bill or someone who is close to Bill is being kept in the loop about the blog.
Getting ready to head to CA next week. It’s amazing on what I have to do in order to be gone a whole 3 days!
Must get back to work!