Self-discovery. Is it a good thing? Or is it damaging? I think that it can be both. Self-discovery is always good as it helps you grow as a soul being. But at the same time, if kept without checks and balances, it can be highly damaging.
I’ll use me as an example – because hell – why not?
Bill. Back in 2002 when I discovered our connection, it was a discovery I kept to myself for two years. Yes, two whole torturous years. I thought that no one would believe me. That somehow my brain cracked and I was flipin` crazy. I had myself convinced I was a complete idiot. Why? Because via self-discovery I discovered something that was not only outside my current perspective and my comfort zone — it was a whole new )(&%$ solar system.
Bill (self-discovery) + keeping to myself (damaging) = both
See, I have a very VERY difficult time letting people in. So much so that I rarely tell people my deepest discovery or fear. Bill hit both of those. I couldn’t turn to anyone I knew at the time – I knew my current circle that there was no one who would get it. So I turned to eBay. (I kid you not). There I found someone I didn’t know, but who I knew (instinctively) wouldn’t bull shit me.
When I asked about Bill – I used only his initial of his (real) name. Told her what I discovered and what I discovered since then (which would have been Ted). Then I asked – is this a fantasy (because I”d seriously shag either guy repeatedly regardless of a connection or not) or am I on to something?
She said I was on to something.
When I read that – I cried and cried and cried some more until I couldn’t cry any more. I wasn’t crazy. Such a relief.
My natural state would have had me keep that discovery to myself forever. That would have been very damaging to my mental health as well as the mental health of all that I’ve helped over the last 11 years.
This is why when I discover another connection, I eventually reveal it. I have to. Just as I have to write, eat, sleep, and breathe — I have to talk about my connections.
And you do too.
Self-discovery is an amazing thing. But so is sharing it when you are ready to. Discovering something means just that – discovery. Meaning it was previously unknown. Your comfort zone is built on what is known. You cannot grow if you do not look outside that zone and then – GASP – step out of it.
Will you lose friends along the way? Most certainly. But will you pick up new friends? ABSOLUTELY!
Self-discovery rocks — and it’s only damaging if you keep it all to yourself and allow your mind to conjure up what is not true.
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