I had a sex coaching client last week who was up in arms about the dreams she was having. “I don’t understand it Allie – she said – I keep having these sexual dreams with a man I don’t know. I wake up, look over and my boyfriend is fast asleep. I’m turned on but it wasn’t my boyfriend who sexuality stimulated me. I feel guilty….am I cheating on him?”
This client came to me because she wasn’t feeling like a sexual woman any longer. Work, pressure from her family and other stresses have shut her down. Not being sexual has taken it’s toll on her relationship with her live-in boyfriend of 2 years. She loves him and she knows she’ll lose him if she doesn’t get her sexual appetite back. The guilt she feels from having dream sex with an unknown man only makes her inability to have sex with boyfriend worse.
I explained to my client that cheating is in the eyes of the beholder as it means different things to different people. Some say physical sex only is cheating – others say online, chat room or phone sex is cheating. Very few say dream or OBE sex is cheating (myself included).
We are all sexual beings. Even when we do not feel like having sex, our energy craves the boast our energy field gets after an orgasm. When stressed or preoccupied, our brain buries the impulse to want sex which makes the body crave it more. The longer we deny the orgasmic release and subsequent energy boast, the more shut down we feel. It’s a vicious circle that only we can break free from.
So what does this have to do with dream/OBE sex not being a form of relationship cheating?
Everything and nothing at all. Obe sex is designed to help one feed their energy the sexual boast it craves. Obe sex is the meeting of two or more energies to engage in sexual stimulation. There are no physical body parts that merge no is there any private, personal information that is exchanged.
If you are with someone in a relationship but having OBE sex with someone else – as long as it doesn’t go beyond the OBE world it’s not cheating.
The client and I talked longer about how she could use the sexual stimulation she gets from her dreams. When she wakes up after the next dream sex encounter, she should roll over towards to her boyfriend and wake him up — in any sexual manner she wishes. This way the dream sex will have an orgasmic conclusion for both of them. If she knows that her boyfriend needs to get up soon or is too ill to have sex, then it’s perfectly fine to masturbate and get the relief on her own. The more she feeds her energy field with orgasmic sexual energy, the less her brain will suppress the urge to get that energy – therefore the less stress will be caused by not being a sexual being. The less stress, the more the energy field will expand, the higher the energy level, the more sex she will want to have (a nice handy side effect). This is the type of cycle one wants.
Another wonderful effect of OBE sex…
The more your energy field vibrates that positive spin, the more positive situations and people get drawn to you.
My client called me this morning. She followed my advice and her sexual relationship with herself and with her boyfriend has improved tenfold. While it’s not where they both want it yet — they are on the right track!