This weekend has been…well…on the surface uneventful. But much lingers in the levels beneath. I can feel it. The tide is about to change. Not slightly — but in extraordinary and non-ordinary ways. It’s hard to put into words the images that flood my mind. Especially since they are flashes that only serve to wet the appetite. I’d rather have the full picture to feed the growing hunger that threatens to consume my soul. It’s maddening — to sense that one’s life is about to explode — to know that by the time I lay my head down next Sunday evening to rest, what I had assumed was the norm of my life no longer applies.
Bill believes me. How do I know this? Did he contact me? No – he has not contacted me — yet. However, I got the message. I wish I could say more than that — but I can’t, not now. The inner knowing that what my mind has revealed and what I have journaled are truth, is in a word — FREEDOM. He BELIEVES me…..he believes me…..and GOD it feels so good. What happens now? I honestly don’t know. The ball is still in his court. But — I do have my own racket if he wants to play.
In my dreams last night – I visited the most amazing place. It was a large stone structure – a building that looked like it would appear in Manhattan, NY as one of the old ritzy places that the Rockefellers…etc…would have called home. But this place was hundreds of years old. It reminds me (for some reason) of the place John Lennon was shot, The Dakota. But it’s not the same place – yet it is a condo or apt complex.
I’m looking for my home. I turn to the left and I see this massive structure. As I walk up the stairs, I can hear the fountain. When I reach the top stair I look up, and the top of this place (inside) is an oval roof with what looks like the night sky. Stars, the moon, planets — all looked real.. But if I stepped back outside – I saw that it was sunny and nice – so I knew it was just a roof. This place is structured like a coliseum, with one opening — which I just walked through. There are people walking a round everywhere in the open courtyard. I tell myself to just walk around like I’m looking for someone so that this place thinks I belong and I won’t get kicked out. In the center there is a very large reception desk – like you see in a hotel. Off to the left I see doors open. I don’t go in — but I know that this is a library for residents only. Someone closes the door on me. I look up and I can see many outer balconies/walkways to people homes. On the 1st floor where I’m still at I see a restaurant. I walk inside and I know it’s one of those 5 star places that you need to be dressed up to enter. I’m looking around – it’s between lunch and dinner times. I see 3 girls I went to high school with. I think to myself – if I need a job I can always ask them. Then I think I hated being a server and I wouldn’t do it again (which is true).
Some very nicely dressed woman comes up to me and asks if I would like to see my place. I’m like – what place? She laughs and says that I’m funny. So I follow her and I’m at a penthouse apt. Man is this thing nice — I mean nice. She asks if everything is to my liking. I say yes. And she tells me — welcome home. She leaves and I wake up.
Now this building started with an “I” and either ended in an “N” or “NO” but I can’t remember the name. It was over the arch when I entered the structure.
I did feel very much at peace and at home.
It felt like NYC although it could have been anywhere.
Speaking of NYC…I was actually contacted by a cable network last week who wants me to send in an audition tape. They are looking for an additional person for one of their weekly shows. So I went to my sisters over the weekend and taped it. I think I look like a goof – but who likes looking at themselves on tape? I’ve got a good feeling about this. Wouldn’t it be a hoot if I got the job? Wish I could tell you more — etc…but right now I can’t. However — I’ll let you know if anything comes of it.
I did manage to get caught up on many things this weekend – but I’m still behind in a few items (like email). So I have to crack the whip and get back to work!