For those of you in the states – how did your Turkey Day go? Mine as usual was an interesting time with good food, good company and stimulating conversation. I found out yesterday that I will be an Aunty again!! My little sis is pregnant with child #2! She told everyone (well, her hubby did) at the table and I’m like – I know. They’re –how did you know? I gave them a look – come on guys. The new addition should arrive come mid June! I’ll keep you updated!
What a strange few days I’ve had – today included. I’m doing a lot of after Turkey Day stuff with a lot of running around – plus I’ve been doing a ton of writing as I’m desperately trying to claw my way back to a sane level. Email is still – well — @ucked beyond my belief. I still plan on answering the 500 + that are now sitting in my inbox:) What has been strange is the sense that I’m being shadowed. I don’t mean by an actual person though – a guide, a master actually. I keep getting glimpses of him out of the corner of my eye. I know it’s not Bill or Ted as I get a certain energy zap when it’s them. No this one is a high level master. He’s right here next to me as I type. I can feel my fingers moving to type and it is weird because it is taking control, by me, to type what I want to type. Okay – I’ll play – let’s see if anything is typed if I just let go:
theh answers you swela are right in 4ont o youe wyw hat yo are foing is interdteing with the natureal order of thisns yo must eey wityh me to sicuss this.
Okay – that is what I typed when I just let it go. Well – I must admit, I don’t like anything having control over my body functions so my interfereence is probably the cause of the mis-spells and we all know that I cannot spell at all.
Now he’s speaking to me – he wants me to spell that line right:
the answers you seek are right in front of you. what you are doing is interfering with the natural order of things. you must meet with me to discuss this.
Okay – I’m game. Let’s see who and what is going on — shall we?
I am immediately taken to the drawbridge of a castle. I cross it and as I approach the massive door it swings open. There is a man waiting for me and simply says that the master is waiting for me over there — and he points to a wall. I look at the wall and look at him. He stands there and does not say a word. I go to the wall and touch it — cold stone is what I feel. I hear that voice in my head say — it’s not a wall and you are not a person — think of it as energy meets energy. Close your eyes, bring up your energy level and pass through. I do what I am told, bring my energy level up from what I learned from Robert Bruce and I walk to the wall. As I go through, I feel a striking cold and then a blazing heat – then nothing. This is when I open my eyes and I see —
I should of known I say. Yes you should of is his reply. I look around and I’m in a massive cave where there are crystals, stones, oils, herbs that cover everywhere. It’s amazing this place. He asks me if I remember this place? I tell him that I know I’ve been here a few times in the last year, but I don’t remember what he wants me to remember. He wants me to sit down in a chair – I do and he hands me an Amethyst. He tells me to hold it and concentrate on it – I do. I can see myself as a young girl, working with him and I must be doing something extraordinary by the smile on his face. I can hear his voice as I’m watching the scene unfold – yes – you were my prize student – gifted in ways that no one else has come close to possessing – you are a unique and potent person. There are people running about and Merlin says something for us to disappear. But my favorite Amethyst, my good luck charm, is still on the table and I break the shield to go get it. As soon as I do that the door opens and I am killed.
I open my eyes and look at Merlin – and then down at my hand with the amethyst. Is this it? He nods. It is the same one that sits next to you in the real world, the one you are always holding. You have had it with you since the dawn of time, and in every life it finds you. I sit there in silence for a spell. He takes this silence to talk to me more:
You are the greatest power that has ever been created. In every life you are given a chance to use that power to help — some times you do, as when you were Joan of Arc and Cleopatra, but many times you have filed that power away, too afraid to let it shine. Yes, you have been killed in every life when you have exhibited this power, but in every life afterwards, you are stronger, more powerful.
I can honestly say that I don’t know what to say. So all I do is look at him.
Merlin goes on — you cast a spell today, correct? I nod. You cast that spell for clarity on a story you wish to write, correct? I nod. But what you fail to realize is that your clarity spell gave you not only clarity with the story, it opened up clarity to all else. Your power does that — it is so much more than you realize. This is why you are I a place for us to speak.
But we’ve spoken before Merlin, dozens of times.
Yes we have — but I’ve never revealed who you are.
Do I have a name? A name that has traveled with me?
Fyre. He says.
I’ve never heard of a person called that.
It is your soul’s name – not a human’s name. What you are doing is interfering with what you need to be doing. You are throwing a rock into the natural order of things. You have found answers within you, true, you have done well with that — but you are seeking other answers from people who cannot tell you what you want to know as they are not permitted to know in order to tell you.
Magic is who you are – you are magic and magic is you. There is no separation of the two. This is why I am here with you, this is why I am always with you as your teacher, your mentor. But you have to trust in yourself that this is your purpose- this is why you are alive today.
But I thought it was to heal? It is to heal – you can heal, you will heal – through magic. But that is not your purpose in this life – that is not the core. Healing is Bill’s core, not yours.
What about the always present want to do battle, like I’m some knight or something. Am I supposed to fight? Yes Merlin says – you will fight, but with magic. You are an expert swordswoman and do well in battle. But that is not the core of who you are. That is who Ted is – he is the protector, the warrior, that is his core.
Do I feel all of this all the time because of our “oneship” our close intertwinement of souls?
Yes — yes that is why. But you have to advance yourself on what is you and what is them. They are both in a position to weld their cores. You are not — not yet.
But how do I then?
Merlin is so close now that I swear we will become one if he closes in……
You have to remember that magical power is your core – you are power and power is you. What you put your power behind will manifest. This is why with your core of your existence, magical power has always taken a front seat. You can manipulate energy, you can manifest anything you desire. You also have the gifts of prophecy and healing — put your magical power into that too.
But what am I supposed to be doing? You have given me so much that again I’m at a lose at where to begin.
You have to accept your magical power. That’s it. Accept who you are and your birthright. All else is in the natural order of things – you do not have to begin anywhere.
I think that I have enough to think about right now. I’m going to go.
Do not think — accept. This path isn’t for your human body or mind to decide, it is your soul’s path, therefore it is your soul’s choice. I will be waiting for you.
And with that I am done.
This was much more than I expected — so much more that it is overwhelming. There is a HUGE chunk of me th
at wants to chalk this up to a vivid imagination and leave it at that. But I know that it’s not right to do. To accept is to acknowledge. I’ll try not to be a Bill and over-think this — or think this at all.
But Merlin is correct – magic is at my core being, it has captured my awe and attention from when I was just a small child. It’s the powerful part that I’m wrestling with.