This day — I just want it to be over. Holy crap I’m tired. Flat out exhausted. I canceled everything I had scheduled today – except for my errands. Whatever is going on with my energy – it had better hurry up and work itself out. I’ve been here before – with the major mood swings – acting like I’m bi-polar or even a manic depressive. <-----This is not me, not at all. So it's coming from someone else. That hole in my soul - right smack dab in my heart chakra - still there. I woke up with it and thought — oh crap, what’s going on? Then I opened my eyes — for a spilt second I saw Michael hovering over me – like Ted used to. I blinked and he was gone. But Michael has been with me all day – watching. On the way home from talking my son to school – I felt really light-headed, my solar plexus was on fire and my stomach was so upset. I knew someone was connecting to me – it was my Michael. I asked him what he wanted. He said he didn’t know. He doesn’t know why he’s here – he can’t see past the line. That’s what he kept saying – help him see past the line. But I don’t know what that means – unless the line is a barrier that doesn’t allow him to see more than what he needs to. In the visions I had today – they were with Bill or Ted – but in the background there he was, Michael – watching. Just watching. Not in a creepy way though – but like he’s trying to figure things out. Since I still have that sinking feeling as I’m about to go to bed – I told myself I will not wake up this way tomorrow. Michael’s going to get a visit this evening and something will be worked out. On top of it all – my guides (Ethan in particular) keeps throwing his song at me — I can’t tell you how many times I’ve listened to it today — and the funny thing is I had no idea this song existed until I stumbled upon it. What About Now – Daughtry

Shadows fill an empty heart
As love is fading,
From all the things that we are
But are not saying.
Can we see beyond the scars
And make it to the dawn?

Change the colors of the sky.
And open up to
The ways you made me feel alive,
The ways I loved you.
For all the things that never died,
To make it through the night,
Love will find you.

What about now?
What about today?
What if you’re making me all that I was meant to be?
What if our love never went away?
What if it’s lost behind words we could never find?
Baby, before it’s too late,
What about now?

The sun is breaking in your eyes
To start a new day.
This broken heart can still survive
With a touch of your grace.
Shadows fade into the light.
I am by your side,
Where love will find you.

What about now?
What about today?
What if you’re making me all that I was meant to be?
What if our love, it never went away?
What if it’s lost behind words we could never find?
Baby, before it’s too late,
What about now?

Now that we’re here,
Now that we’ve come this far,
Just hold on.
There is nothing to fear,
For I am right beside you.
For all my life,
I am yours.

What about now?
What about today?
What if you’re making me all that I was meant to be?
What if our love never went away?
What if it’s lost behind words we could never find?

What about now?
What about today?
What if you’re making me all that I was meant to be?
What if our love never went away?
What if it’s lost behind words we could never find?
Baby, before it’s too late,
Baby, before it’s too late,
Baby, before it’s too late,
What about now?


Now – have no idea why I have to listen to this song. I think the song is connected with Michael – but why? We have never met in this life – so of course there’s no love affair to pine over. Crap like this just drives me nuts. I’d really like a straight answer. No more signs – just a straight answer please.

Plus no more downloading to my subconsious. Sheesh. A girl has to get a good night sleep. If I’m not getting laid then I want to be out cold to the world. It’s just that simple.

Needless to say – I did not get anything done today on BT or OBE. Although I DID toss ideas around for BT. So I guess that’s something.

I should have known better with my emotional roller coaster that I should have not watched the last eposide of ER. Bad – bad move.

I’m up early in the morning for Little Leguge. The tomorrow afternoon it’s me – wine and BT.

Oh – one more thing – if you call my office phone and you don’t come up on the caller id – I’m not answering. “Unknown Number” will not work.

Night!

Crystal Sunshine!
Allie 🙂

Do You Know Your WHY? Knowing your WHY helps to give your life meaning. Finding your why + your personal life purpose creates a life of happiness and fulfillment. Check out the guide + workbook today!

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