Getting Close, Being Hurt And The Eternal Connection!

Getting Close, Being Hurt And The Eternal Connection!

I have been being bothered since I woke up this morning. I’m irritated and being that someone will not leave me alone, I’d better go see what they want. I am immediately taken back to the boulder on the stream from the other day. This time though, Bill is sitting on it waiting for me.

A = Allie, B = Bill

B – You forgot about me.
A – I did what?
B – Forgot about me. You cast me aside like some stranger.
A – I never forgot about you.
B – Well, it feels that way.
A – Why? Because Ted has been around and you haven’t?
B – No. Because you haven’t tried.
A – Oh for God sakes. Try? To do what? Huh? What else am I supposed to do? You come in and out of my spiritual life like a damn yo-yo. Something I don’t appreciate.

B – Don’t give up on me.
A – I never did. But I’m also not going to beat my head against the wall waiting for your return. I deserve better.

Bill nods in agreement and jumps off the boulder. I can feel my blood getting hotter by the second.

A – What do you want from me? What am I supposed to do?
B – Do not give up on me.

A – You know, when I discovered all of this – you, me, Ted — you were so far advanced spiritually than Ted – that neither one of us thought he’d ever catch up. But he did – in fact – he surpassed you. By your choice, you’ve gone back to the beginning.

B – I have some things I still need to figure out.

A – Well Sherlock, while you are figuring things out, guess what? I’m not a figment of your imagination. I’m not a figment of Ted’s imagination. I’m a real person – flesh and blood. I’m alive, breathing and I have feelings. Feelings that get hurt everytime you cast me aside and step out of my life.

B – I’m sorry.

A – Sorry doesn’t cut it for me any more. All three of us are here on Earth for the same variety of reasons: to clear up our past karma with one another, to work on relationships, to help mankind and to rediscover Atlantis. If we don’t get it right this time around, then we’ll have to come back and do this all over again. I don’t want to do this again – I want to evolve.

Bill doesn’t say one word. Instead his focus is on the water. I go next to him and make him look at me. His blue eyes are red, bloodshot. He tries to hold back tears, but they won’t stop flowing.

A – For one minute, just think about me. Do you think that this is easy for me? It’s not. Every day I have to deal with who you two are, the feelings that are associated with you two, the knowledge of who you are and the barrier of not being able to do anything about it. I am at your mercy – you and Ted. I don’t like it, I don’t want it – but that’s how it is. I’ve made all of the moves that I can. The next step is yours — and his. But I’ll say one thing for Ted, is that he does not yo-yo in and out of my spiritual life. He is there, like a rock, always trying to make my life better, trying to advance us. But we’re stuck – we all are until YOU decide what you are doing. Until that point, I’m going to protect myself form being hurt by you. My love for you and for Ted is unconditional and eternal – but I will not be a doormat – not for anyone. I respect myself far too much for that.

B – But I don’t want to have you and then lose you.

A – Lose me to who?

B – To Ted. You two are to be together. I know this. And I can’t bare to see it happen. I can’t stand back and watch you two together – I can’t.

A – You’re not going to lose me to Ted, nor is Ted going to lose me to you. We’re ETERNALLY connected – there is no separation.

Unknown to either of us, Ted arrives. T = Ted.

T – So what’s it going to be man? Are you going to keep us in limbo forever? Or are you going to do something. I’m tired of this, she’s tired of this.

Ted grabs a hold of Bill’s shoulders.

T – I love you like a brother, I’d do anything for you. I’d even die for you if I had to. But I won’t give her up. I can’t give her up – not for you, and not for God. And neither should you. Have a little faith.

B – I don’t know what to do. I don’t want to get hurt.

A – None of us do! Why do you think we have very few close relationships? I can count on one hand how many people know the real me – all of the real me. And you know what? I only need two fingers – one for you and the other for you. That’s part of my problem – why I’m here — why we’re all here. It’s much easier to have superficial relationships where the person only knows a fraction of you. That way when the relationship is over – only that part of you hurts -the part that they knew. But it’s also a lonely way to live and you can’t love anybody like that – not really. It’s impossible to get close to anyone or to let anyone get close to you when you are that guarded.

Ted leans back on the boulder – stares at Bill and then back at me.

T – So what do you say? We’re stuck with each other for all of eternity. We’d might as well make the best of it and get along – together – in the real world.

Bill thinks about it. He paces and you can tell that he is mentally trying to figure it all out.

B – I suppose we do have some wrongs to make right.
T – Yes brother we do – to her. We have a lot of ass kissing to do in this life.

I, of course, have to bend over and comment:

A – I for one am ready to have my ass kissed.

Someone smacks my butt!

A – Who did that?

The guys point to one another.


T – Are we ready to roll?

Ted and I stare at Bill. A smile creeps across his face. He nods.

A – Good! Besides, I need you two to help me out with sex in reality.

The guys look at each other and grin.

A – Not in the way that you’re thinking. But I appreciate the thought. And someday, I’d appreciate the effort.

Ted laughs.

T – She is one of us, isn’t she?
B – God help us, I think she is.

Bill turns and looks at Ted.

T – Don’t worry, I’ll take care of her.

With that, all fades from view.


Now maybe I’ll be able to get back to work.

Have a great weekend!

Crystal Sunshine!
Allie 😉

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