Am I in love with Dirk Benedict. No. Would I kick him out of bed? Never. So what does he have to do with the price of tea in China? I’ll get to that in just a minute.

Humans – we are so flawed that I cannot fathom why we torture ourselves by choosing to be human. But then I remember humans capacity for love, compassion and empathy. It restores my faith.

In between the love, compassion and empathy lies greed, fear, worry and anger. Of course greed, worry and anger all stem from fear. Just as compassion and empathy stem from love. So on one hand we have love. On the other hand fear.

Where do you spend most of your time? Do you choose the hand of love or the hand of fear? Do you worry about your marriage? Remember back to when things were good between you two? Dream about a future with X once ABC is complete? Or anticipate the next time you two kiss?

If you are remembering or anticipating – worrying or sad – you are either living in the past or the future….void of the present. Being void of the present robs you of the love that surrounds you and is within you. How can you plan for the future you dream about or move past the hurt in you do not stay in the present?

This is where Dirk comes in. Stay with me…

In 1978, when I was 12, Dirk played Starbuck on the original Battlestar Galactica (later on the original Face on the A-Team). I loved that show. When it went off the air and was replaced by that joke Galactica 1980 (although Barry Van Dyke was rather yummy) I was heartbroken.

Then in 1980, I read that Dirk was going to headline the play “Oklahoma” at EJ Thomas Hall in Akron. I was ecstatic. I mean – really – really – ecstatic. I asked my parents (begged really) and they said no. They couldn’t afford it. Saying that I was crushed would be putting it mildly. I cried for days.

Then the night came when Oklahoma was to be on. I was a moody pre-teen. My parents told me and my sister to put on these dresses as they were going to take us out to cheer me up. I wanted nothing to do with it – but they insisted.

Dresses on — out we went.

I still remember driving down Broadway in Akron and seeing EJ Thomas Hall with the marquee lighting up for Oklahoma. We were going to the play! I got all teary eyed and emotional.

Eventually the house lights dimmed and Dirk came on stage singing “Oh What A Beautiful Mornin”….and the chorus…Oh what a beautiful morning, oh what a beautiful day. I’ve got a wonderful feeling, everything’s going my way!

I was crying. I mean really really crying. It was the happiest moment of my life. Hands down – still number one 32 years later. I have never forgotten that feeling of ecstatic happiness – especially since it has yet to be duplicated.

(Side note: Yes having my son is one of my happiest moments. But the pain I went through as he did not want to come out and then having him ripped out of me — not my happiest moment. Painful yes. Happy — not so much.)

And yes – I did get to meet him afterwards. He was polite, kind, actually listened to me as I talked and was soooooooo handsome. I survived despite my mother telling him what a fan I was of his (she went on….and on…..). I still am a fan, in case you’re wondering.

Which brings me back to the original point of this post. Love/fear – present/past.

When I find myself in some element of fear – when I consiously catch myself – I sing “Oh what a beautiful morning….” out-loud, to bring myself back to the present and the love that is around me. When I am in the present, I don’t worry, I have no fear, no sadness — only love.

So what has been your happiest moment to date?

Once you know what that is – then you can use it as a trigger to pull yourself out of the fear and into the love.

I have yet to tell Dirk how much he has helped me with life over the years. By staying in the present, I hope to create the future in which I can tell him just that.

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