Do you have any? If you’re in a relationship – does your partner have any confidence?
The odds that you say yes to either question are against you.
Because people just do not have the confidence to tell their partner what they like or do not like. Since partners are not usually mind readers – how are they supposed to know what you like?
Look – I know it takes “guts” to speak up in bed. But if you are going to have mutually hot sex – you need to speak up.
Three of the biggest reason people keep their sexy bedroom mouth shut are:
- They don’t know what turns them on or off. All they know is what is happening in the bedroom is unfulfilling.
- They have spoken up on what is wanted in bed and his or her partner took it as a criticism. (this means the partner has low confidence)
- Scared they will offend the partner.
Most men (not all men) feel that they are inadequate in bed when their partner gives directions – like what they are doing is not good enough. Each man and each woman is different. No two people like things the exact way. It’s not a jab when someone tells you to do something different. If you’re smart, you will follow directions with glee and reap the benefits when they’re feeling so much pleasure that they want to give you the same.
Some times a person (women usually) doe not know what she wants because she has never experienced self pleasure first. It’s damn impossible to tell someone what you like if you 1st do not know yourself.
Body issues. There are very few people who are happy with their body. Thanks to photoshop and Hollywood, we are surrounded by unrealistic body views. When people are not confident in their skin – it is difficult to show confidence in or out of the bedroom.
Porn does not equal real sex with non-porn actors. I know a few porn actors/actresses. I can assure you that what you see on screen, while the penetration & oral is real – they take breaks in between takes. Very few can thrust that long – take the trusting for that long and get lubed up in a few seconds. So quit comparing yourself and/or your partner to porn. For more on that subject: Porn Vs Real
So what can you do to be able to have the confidence to speak up (and listen) in the bedroom? Lucky for you – you know me 🙂
6 Steps to Boost Bedroom Confidence
- Be the best self- pleasurer you can be. Dive in and play with yourself. You and any future partners will be grateful.
- Remember that if you are doing something that the person you are with does not like – it’s not personal.
- Become friends with your body. We’re always harder on ourselves then our friends. So treat your body like a friend and be more forgiving & accepting of yourself.
- Yellow is the color of confidence. Wear more yellow. Have yellow in the bedroom – sheets, candles, picture frames.
- Wear or carry citrine or amber.
- Lemon or grapefruit essential oils work great. Just rub a few drops onto your solar plexus chakra (2 in above belly button).
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