Out with Will. Sounds like an improbability – doesn’t it? He has such a large part of my energy, such a very big part — that letting go of Will seems like suicide. I know, a bit dramatic. But when you are so connected to another soul the thought of that soul leaving your energy is mind-numbing.
Will is out, but not OUT. He has taken up a very large part of my energy ever since I discovered who he is to me. He’s my muse, my security blanket, my love. But he’s not THE LOVE in this lifetime. Was never supposed to be. The realization of it breaks my heart, but at the same time frees my heart.
You see, I was doing a Joshua and Celina reading for a client. Right in the middle of it. JC hijacked me and had me write for myself. This is something that I had resisted for several years now. I knew that whatever they needed to tell me I didn’t want to hear – regardless how necessary it was to my soul’s growth.
I’m paraphrasing here, but they said that Will can continue on to be my muse, but nothing more in this life. There is zero chance of anything other than the muse connection and maybe (probably) an acquaintance. I wasn’t EXPECTING anything to come of our connection, although I would have welcomed it with open arms. But to be told it’s a snowball chance in hell (in this life) did not sit well with me. He had to go to the “muse only” status so that I could let in who is supposed to be there.
That would be Ian 2. JC went on to say that Ian 2 is supposed to occupy such a big part of my life, that with Will there, there was no room for him. No room for him meant that soul growth was at a stop for both of us. Ian 2 knows that there is more to his life than meets the eye. He’s even stopped by this blog to look for answers. What he didn’t know is the blog is the answer. Once I let Will go, Ian 2 is supposed to have a light bulb moment.
Until today, Ian 2’s past lives with me have been a complete mystery. Since I released Will from my energy, I have been shown that Ian 2 and I have had more romantic lives together than anyone else in our group. Most of the time with me we are both female. When it has been male/female, I have been the male. In this life we decided to shake it up a bit and he be the male, me female. Knowing what I know of him thus far in this life – it makes sense. Most people (who do not actually know him) assume he is gay. He gives off that girly vibe. Not gay. Not in the slightest. Now if he was female in this life, then I would say – without a doubt – yes – gay.
I’m in no hurry for this to unfold. I’m looking forward to it – but I am not in a hurry for it. When it happens it is going to propel me to an arena I’m not comfortable with (I think that’s the point). It’s going to put me in a spot that terrifies me. I’ve always heard, that if it scares you to do, you need to do it.
I guess I just need to go for it — don’t you think?