I woke up Thursday morning with the most horrible dream image in my mind — my first thought was why? I was at my mother’s house – but it wasn’t my mother’s house. It looked like mom’s – but she didn’t live there. I came out of the front door, and there hanging from a wooden pole was a 4 year old girl. She had a rope around her neck, her hands were groping at the noose. She had shoulder length dark hair and a red velvet dress on that came down to right above her knees. White stocking, no shoes. I’m shocked when I see her, I turn make a move towards her and I hear a gun engage. I turn around and it’s my ex father in law (who is deceased) pointing a rifle at my head. He says if I go near her, he’ll blow my head off. I push past him and go back inside the house – pass my ex husband and ask him what in the hell is going on? Where’s our son? Why did he let that girl get hung? All he said was that she was bad. I grab the largest knife I can find and head back outside. As I approach the father in law, the ex yells that I have a knife, he turns and points that rifle at me again, I brush past him and head outside. I can tell that this girl is still alive – barely and that I have to get her down.
I walk down the driveway and there is my son. I grab him and tell him to walk with me in the road. In this road there are hundreds of people walking in front of this house, with a plain view of the little girl. I told my son that his grandpa has a gun pointed at us and for him to keep moving. Don’t look over and don’t look back- no matter what. He asked what the girl did wrong? I then had a vision (in the dream) about her grandpa (my father in law) tickling her and her laughing. He makes a move on sexually and she cries. Then he stops and starts to tickle her again. She laughs — and that is when he puts the noose around her neck. The girl’s name is Danielle. I told my son what I saw — as we approach the end of the property – there is a huge deep ravine there that I have to master to get to the girl. I push my son to go on and no matter what – don’t look back.
As I turned to go to the ravine – I woke up. That disturbing dream stayed with me all day. My ex is an idiot , but he wouldn’t let someone else harm a child and my ex father in law was a bastard and a half – but no child molester. And I know no Danielle’s. So I am baffled by the dream. Her hanging there in the dress just kept haunting my day. I tried to get back to the dream last night, but couldn’t.
Will hit me head on yesterday, It started about 11:30 am and lasted until 4:00 pm or so. His energy was very erratic – a lot of pacing and wringing of his hands. I could feel him rubbing the top of his head and having an overwhelming fear of rejection. He was very in my face – extremely clingy and needy. But at the same time would become very distant – then right back again. The sexual tension was off the boards and I’ll write about it a bit later in the OBE blog.
But I wrote Tracey to see if Will went to see her again. Here’s a copy of her reply and my original email:
Sent: Thursday, April 10, 2008 4:39:21 PM
Subject: Re: Will
Hi Allie, Good afternoon. I laughed when I signed in to discover that you sent me an email with the subject Will.
I just woke up from a nap with a horrible headache and its all Will’s fault. LOL
In the visit – he was pacing a lot – moving back and forth and talking. He was saying that he was feeling a bit worried that he was being too presumptuous that you would be accepting of him and want him in your life. There are feelings of insecurity about the leaps of faith he is taking in his life to prepare for you entering into his life. He is fearing that you will say no, that you will reject him. He really seems to be distraught and questioning himself and what he is doing. He was talking so quickly – and he was not listening – its like I would try to get in a word and he would talk over me. I tried kind of interjecting things when he breathed but I realized that there is a part of him that needed to do this ranting and raving – like he was releasing while he was going on so I stopped trying to battle him. When I started listening rather than trying to help guide him he seemed to slow down more and to come to some positive feelings and thoughts. However, his fear would sort of overshadow those and he would start talking about being rejected again and questioning everything he was doing, the connection and so on. Then he got kind of frustrated and said oh – man – I have to go to work……and that was it – I woke up from my nap with this horrible headache.
I am drinking a venti mocha frap. from Starbucks in hopes it will help the headache and not throw my diabetes into a coma state. lol
In Divine Love and Service,
Sent: Thursday, April 10, 2008 2:09:20 PM
Has Will come to visit you lately? It seems as if today he has broken through someone sort of wall (not sure if it was mine or his) and is very touchy – feely. But I also get that there is a worry of being rejected by me. So I was curious to see if he showed up to you for more advice/talk or if he went elsewhere.
Now when I emailed her last night to see how she was — she still had that horrible headache. I emailed her this morning – about 11:30 that Will was back and his energy was about the same – and for her to hold on. I got an automated reply from her email – meaning she took the day off. Her headache must be killing her.
I kept getting a lot of flash vision yesterday and today. Mostly of my son and I in NYC in May. We are in a coffee shop, or maybe a restaurant and I hear my son’s name called out — we turn and it’s Will sitting there with a woman. We have some small talk, I introduce myself to the woman. I can tell that they were not having a very good chat before we arrived (it was his recent ex girlfriend) – so I dropped hints about what my son and I would be doing the next day:Central Park zoo. We excused ourselves and sat at our table. I could feel his eyes on us many times. At one point the woman stood up and threw her drink on him – marched out. My son got right up (before I could stop him) and went and got Will and brought him to our table.
I had a vision of us at the zoo. My son had to go to the bathroom and Will took him. I’m out looking at the ostriches when a man approaches me and we strike up a convo. He’s handsome and interested. He sees Will and my son approach and he gave me his card and left, Will knew what the guy wanted and that I put his card in my pocket. Later on I make a point of cleaning out my pockets in front of Will, and throwing the card out.
Will reading my son a story.
The two of them playing army with Nerf guns.
And several more fast glimpses.
I can understand Will’s freaking out about consciously discovering what has been going on – our connection etc….I did a total freak out when I discovered the connection with Bill and then Ted. I even freaked with Will. There’s a lot of internal dialogue going on – am I imagining things? Is this wishful thinking? Does he/she know to? If not, will they? What will they do? Am I crazy? Can he/she hear me like I can her her/him? And the list goes on and on. It took me over a year after discovering Bill to mention it to another person – a whole year. Hopefully it will not take Will quite as long. I don’t think it will since me – being the other part of the connection – is very open and accepting of it.
I wonder though if I will have to teach the man how to dial a phone?
Bill and Ted have both been sitting on my energy. They are both very much there without being THERE like Will.
Humm…so many thoughts to ponder!
Time to go pickup my son!