Bill and Ted – I miss them. It’s just that simple. I hadn’t thought about how much they were missed until the other day. You see, I’ve done everything that I should do to attract a good romantic partner to me. I’ve cleared out old resentments and anger from past relationships. I’ve gotten over my train of thought that men are superficial idiots. I put out the intent and I know what I want in the present tense with a positive spin. I’m in a good place mentally, emotionally and spiritually.
But still nothing.
I’m a sex coach — HELLO?! I’ve thought – MEN — do you understand what that means?? (The number complaint I get from couples is that the sex is lackluster if existent at all.)
In my profession, I do sexual research – sometimes hands on, sometimes just by watching, talking or reading. Point is – sex and relationships is what I do and damn it, I’m good at it.
Which of course left me baffled to why I still could not find the person for me.
Could it be that I lived in Amish Hell? No – plenty of educated men who are not Amish.
Could it be that I love animals and have 7 cats and 2 dogs? No – plenty of men who love animals.
Could it be that I have an 11 yr old son? No – he’s a great kid & there are plenty of men who missed out on their kids growing up (working too much) and would love a chance to give it another try (even if it was in a step-dad role).
So what in the hell was it?
Bill and Ted. Damn them.
I discovered this by accident.
I was working on another area of my life and it was suggested to me my problems stem from past lives (because yet again I have done everything I should) and that I need to take a look at those lives.
I have been a part of so many past life regressions that I’m able to regress myself in just a few minutes. Keeping my house quiet is foolhardy, so in order to allow myself to go back without being jolted out – I kick all the animals out of my office and put some LOTR music.
The way I go back on my own is I allow myself to walk down a very long flight of winding stairs. As I’m walking I’m in the midst of a fog. With every step down there is also a door on my left and one on my right. The further I go down the stairs, the further back in time I go. I finally arrive a step where I feel the pull to my left. So I open and enter.
No idea the year or where I was – didn’t care. All I wanted to know is what in the heck did I do during this time to make me curse myself. I watched a wealthy me get jilted by someone when it was discovered that I would be penniless if we married. Then in the breath I was married off to increase the size of the family wealth. Right then I condemned both love as a sham and money as evil. Locking me out of finding either again.
So I yelled at myself (now me yelling at then me) – it was priceless. Then me knew someone was there but didn’t know who or what. LOL. I yelled at me to take it all back – among a few other choice words. I convinced me – because I saw me take it back.
I thought, yeah man, I’m the @hit. Figured it all out, now I can get on with my life….
…But NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO….something nagged at me dang it.
So I went back again the next night, only I didn’t stop at the previous location, I kept digging — then I hit pay dirt.
There was Bill and I. Happy, completely in love with one another and wealthy. Had it all – everything – with the exception of children. I watched as the two of us got up and ready for the day. Laughing, having fun. Then I giggled and mentioned that I wanted some more jewels – so when he came home that’s all I would be wearing. He loved that idea. Loved it so much he decided to go out and conquer someplace.
Only problem is he went and got himself killed.
To say I was devastated was an understatement. So – what’s a girl to do when the love of her life gets killed getting her some stupid trinkets? She denounces love and money.
Then to make matters worse she falls for her husband’s brother (Ted), but the two of them cannot be together, together because he is already married to someone else. But he’s next in line for the throne and he’s nice enough to let her/me hang around and be his mistress. The queen finds out – kills the king. Again – man two down because of her.
So — now she/me has really had it with love and money. Has the local wizard (witch, magical person) put a curse on her descendants – no love, no money. Then she killed herself. Well damn it I/she wasn’t thinking that it would be “us” she would curse.
There I was yelling at her/me. This time though, she heard me heard me and we argued. Then the magical guy came in (I swear this was Will) and I yelled at him to make it go away, Reverse whatever the hell he did. Longer story shortened — he reversed things.
Now here we are today. I think there is another layer to be unraveled. Not sure what or if it is the same layer. But I know I’m not done.
The next time you know you have done everything right in attracting your partner, but that partner still cannot be found and you know damn well they’re overdue – look back at your past lives. You probably have something lurking back there that needs attention.
Have a great weekend!
CS – Allie 🙂