Today I decided to sit with a newly adopted stone spirit called Diaspore. It is a 7th chakra stone, it is easier to ‘read’ people and to understand what they are communicating to you – also to connect to the spiritual and astral planes with ease and clarity. This is an intense spirit that took me into today’s session with a fiery, hell-bent energy.
I’m immediately taken to Bill. He and I are at a patio door – I can see a pool. It’s daytime. We’re in the middle of an argument. The details are clear:
M = Me
H = Him
M = What do you want from me?
H = I want you to stay here. You can’t go back.
M = I have to go back – my son’s there.
H = I don’t want you …….being with him.
M = Him? For God sakes, we’ve already covered this ground. You know our relationship.
H = You’re still married.
M = I told you — I’m going to take care of it once I get back. I can’t do it from here. Get off my back.
I push past him and I hear him slam his hand into the glass door. I go into a guest bedroom (which is my room, has my stuff in it, my suitcase) and slam the door. I get on the bed, put my headphones on and turn up the music. He slowly opens the door. Very carefully, he sits on the corner of the bed – moves towards me and takes my headphones off.
H = I don’t want to fight.
I turn off the computer and stare at him.
M = Then just drop it. I told you what I’m going to do and how I’m going to do it.
H = Bring him out here – we have good schools.
M = He’ll start a new school this fall, Kindergarten in Wooster. The school is a block or two from my house, it’s safe. I like my neighborhood. This isn’t about me — or you. It’s about my son and what is best for him. You didn’t move your son elsewhere even though you wanted to move. He needed to be near his mother, in a secure environment, and he was. You move to Ohio.
He smiles – sort off. Traces his fingers down my face.
H = I only want to show you how much I love you. And I can’t — we can’t — until you put the wheels in motion.
I grab his hands.
M = I know, I’m as equally as frustrated as you. But we both know this is the right way.
He leans in and gives me the sweetest kiss. As he pulls away I grab him to kiss again – but the kiss quickly turns into a very intense, passionate kiss and before we know it – we’re naked. We discuss other ways of taking care of this — frustration that does not include intercourse. So we proceed with other ways – however – instead of helping they are only making things worse – for both of us. Until I throw him onto his back and tell him enough is enough – I can’t do this — this way. He rolls me on my back. We are about to finish what we’ve started when he says – no. He can’t do it. I have so much frustration and anger in me that this point – everything has just hit the boiling point on every level – that I take my legs and push him off the bed. It’s a strong push that sends him off the bed and into the dresser.
I look at the clock and I realize that my sister will be here soon to pick me up for the airport. He leaves the room, tears are pouring down his face. I scream as loud as I can and start beating the crap out of everything. He lets me do this. I pack. My sister arrives.
H = I love you sunshine. Hurry back.
I kiss him and tell him that I love him too.
Then I’m done.
As I was there – experiencing all this — I knew that I was with Bill for several days in which we talked about everything – no sexual contact. We discussed past lives, visions, plans, you name it – we talked about it – even Ted — although he didn’t really want to talk about him. We laughed, had so much fun. Showed each other stones/crystals, had a great time cooking. He read “The Black Triangle” and loved it. Wanted to see the book. The all-over time we were together was very positive and uplifting – comforting. It’s only here at the end where things got out of control. As I’m writing this, I can sense that both he and I were very scared at this time – what was going to happen? Were we going to see each other again? When? How? For how long next time? He worried – what will he do to my life?
Staying in Ohio — hummm…..I don’t know.
I’d have to say that it is a “wow” of a stone spirit – wouldn’t you?
I started to put into motion the changes that were strongly suggested by Jezel. I have it all set for April 1st (no April fool joke here) to stop the serves mentioned and introduce others. I’ve already add a couple more workshops. Embarking on this line is outside my comfort zone – but I’m being pushed for a reason – so be it!
Off to work I go — hope everyone has a great day!