You know, I had just come to the realization that I spelled Jezel’s name different two times. Once as Jazell and the other as Jezel. I asked her – why did she allow me to spell both ways and which way does she prefer? She tells me in a very soothing voice that in our first meeting it was not shown to me on purpose how to spell her name as it is upper level and not written. It is a sound, one that when I achieved that level of ascension would I be permitted to interpret the sound into the proper spelling. So Jezell is the written this way J-e-z-e-l-l? Yes she says.
We’re in a crowded apartment – or so it seems to be so. An apartment that is. The space reminds me of what you see in the movies on how an apartment with a Central Park view would look. There are built in shelves and shelves of books. The books shelves go half way down the wall and there are two drawers under each built-in. The woodwork is light -like a maple (if maple wood is beige or tan like, I can’t remember). The couches are an off white – overstuffed and very comfortable. The end tables and coffee tables are glass, with a light wood around the edges. Floor is a dark, hardwood – original and there are floor rugs all around. The windows are open and there is a breeze. There is an intimate dinner party going on – about 13 people (the host/ess was solo, yet I can feel that the rest of us was paired with someone at her choosing) and I can feel him staring at me from across the room. I look up and Bill smiles – ever so shyly. Somehow with small talk we find ourselves chatting and I am looking through one of his books. It has a red or pink cover to it, but this copy isn’t mine, it belongs to whomever’s apartment we’re in.
Bill and I are now on one of the over stuffed couches. He has one a very nice, white or beige button down shirt, nice tan slacks, white socks and no shoes. In fact, we’re all running around in our socks:) He asks me something about a book. I tell him about the last one I received from his company. He goes on about was it this book – about the problems in the Middle East and a new take on what the war has done to inside America with short stories, poems, a pictorial about how most of Americans are hurt by this – job lose, benefits lost, education, poverty rises – etc…. I tell him no – it was the book about your exhibit in New Zealand. He gives me that cocky – sly grin and says – oh yeah. I add – remember, you hand wrote my address label? His grin is now wide, makes a goofy face and shrugs his shoulders — sometimes the computers don’t work, so I hand write. I give him one of those – you are bull shitting me looks – and he knows it. I reply – you wrote my label so that I knew you knew it was me. He raises his eyebrows and inquires – anything wrong with that?
He tells me he got the book I sent. I’m – what book? He laughs and replies – how did you not think I’d know it was you. Did you read it I ask? Completely was his answer.
He asks me what books do I have of his. I comment that I wasn’t ever going to buy any – I didn’t feel the need. He’s like – why? I’m stumbling over my words trying to figure out – do I tell him the truth or lie? Damn – I know he’ll know if I lie……so I take a deep breath and say – I figured why bother? After all, why have two copies of the same book in the same house? He is now lying beside of the couch, on the floor – his feet are up on the arm, he is lying on his back. He shoots me a look and I, of course, can read his thoughts — aren’t we being a bit presumptuous? I lean over the couch and tell him – if you don’t want to know the answer, do not ask me the question. I “hear” him say – quit talking. At first I’m – huh? He “says” it again – quit talking. Ahhhhhhhh….I get it.
The next thing I remember is he and I – still at this party – talking about Ted. I told Bill a story where I asked Ted a question and his reply actually shocked both Bill and I. But Bill was more shocked that I already talked to Ted. You’re taking too long to connect us – I comment -so we went around you. He says – I know.
I’m telling him that if he wants to be left alone in public, for him to go into a bathroom and sneak out the other side. In a flash I can hear myself telling him this story as I’m living it: I am now going into this building, that all it has on the 1st floor is a bathroom. A very clean and tidy bathroom. The floors are silver, like stainless steel – as well as the sinks. The doors and toilets are a shiny black. There are two women in there, by the sinks, (a large mirror over the sinks) with very short (very very short) and revealing black outfits on. One woman hikes her leg up on the sink to fix her hosiery. I go into a stall and am doing my thing – and all is fine when an older woman (who is with the two sluty dressed women) who is also all in black digs into her small purse and pulls out a hair pin.
The bathroom stall doors are kept shut with magnets. There not visible – they are on the sides of the door & on the door jam. But my magnets won’t keep my door all the way shut and I’m trying to close it. The woman comes into my stall with this hair pin and asks if I would like it. I’m like sure — but a bit busy now. She reaches over my toilet sitting body and places the hair pin in my hair. She smiles and with that – all 3 women leave.
Next I am in a house I think the same house from the party. I’m reading a book and Bill sits down next to me on the arm of an overstuffed chair. He asks who’s Seth? He’s very irritated (I can tell) by this name. I look at him and say – he’s one of my guides and since we share so many of the same things, he’s probably your guide too. He’s like – oh. Bill slides down the arm and somehow positions himself so that he is snuggled on my right side, with his head on my chest and his right arm over my middle. I put the book down and wrap my arms around him, kiss him on the top of his head.
I’m walking with a male friend in front of a large yet old apartment complex – at night. In the dream I knew that I know this man in real life, but now I can’t remember who he is — but he wore a black T-shirt. I’m telling him about Bill – without telling him who he is. Four men pass us, they wave at me and I wave back. My friend now thinks he knows who I’m talking about – but he’s wrong. We take a turn and head away from the apartment building. Somehow I’m now at this friends house and he is trying to hard to figure out who Bill is. I finally decide to cut the guy some slack – but he has to PROMISE not to tell a soul, and he agrees. He mentions a movie and I say no = “another movie” Bill. He’s like – no shit. I’m like – no shit. I tell him that I’m on my way over there, would he like to walk me?
So now it’s day light and we’re walking back to that apartment building – but now we also have a woman with us – someone else who I know in reality (I think) – both these two felt very familiar – too bad I can’t remember. Anyway – we’re walking and I hear Bill call my name. I tell the two of them to be cool. I can hear “Chances Are” playing from an open apartment window. Bill hears it too and we smile at the sound of that song. He walks over and I introduce him to my friends. He grabs my hand and holds it. This takes me off guard and I glance at him, not wanting him to think I didn’t like it – just surprised. He smiles at me and nods. My friends leave. He comments to me how the sun brings out my red and blond natural highlights – he likes it. So with one hand he is holding on of my hands and with the other he is playing with my hair. I try to keep my cool. But then he drops my hand and my hair to cup my face in his hands. I tell him – people will see this. He says – I know. Are you sure – I ask? He smiles – this is long over-due, he says. With that he kisses me and an electric current shoots through our bodies like a huge WOW factor. We pull apart and I look at him — did you feel that. He sheepishly smil
es and glances down at himself – says we’d better get inside. I giggle like a school girl as I just got what he meant. Then I comment – that’s the nice thing I like about being a girl.
I wake up.
Before I fell asleep I asked Brigit and Jezell to take me to him and for us to remember. They did as I asked and obviously I remember as this is 2 hours after I woke up and this is all still this clear. I just hope he remembered some of it….. This was a very nice dream visit – very nice and positive.
Now I have to do some searching for who Seth is. Maybe he is Bill’s guide who is telling me his name – so that I can mention him to Bill. Some sort of jolt for Bill to open another door.
My son asked me a question today about Easter and that over-zealous bunny that got me thinking about a children’s book. Now the last couple of readings I’ve had with Gabreael (http://members.ebay.com/ws/eBayISAPI.dll?ViewUserPage&userid=gabreael) she has asked me — what children’s book are you working on? Well none – of course. But she was insistent — I see a children’s book — yep…….
I’m gearing up for my traditional night with no sleep as I’m in charge of that massive Easter ham:)
Have a wonderful weekend and if you celebrate Easter — enjoy.