I had a long-time blog reader email me the other day and ask about how do you know that the sex you just had in your dream was actual dream sex with another person and not the subconscious showing you a sexual experience you’d like to play out in the waking world but for one reason or not it cannot happen.
I thought that was a good question!
When it’s a sexual experience your subconscious lays out the groundwork (person, situation, setting). But as you are participating in the sexual situation, while it may turn you on sexually, it feels more like you are having sex with a blow up doll than an actual person. The overt sensations that one should experience during sex are not there – even if kissing and/or penetration can be felt.When you wake up you can vague remember what happened – but as the day passes it becomes more of a distant memory.
When it’s an actual dream sex experience with you and another soul participating in the same sexual situation – one or both of you choose the setting and situation. During the sexual act it feels like that person is right there with you. The sexual sensations are vivid – tangible. An orgasm can jolt you awake or you can awaken because of something else and the feeling of being sexual turned on needs to be take care of. The memories of the sexual experience stay with you through out the day. They are easily retrievable. You may not remember everything there is to remember about the experience – but by the time 5:00 pm hits you still remember everything you did at 6:00 am. Plus you can still feel their lips on yours – feel them inside of you — the softness of their breasts, etc….
I love dreams that I create or get pulled into 🙂