Here I am sitting with a face mask on debating whether or not to go to bed, when a strange feeling stirred from within. It’s hard to describe – so bear with me. In the center if my chest, in my heart charka, it felt as if I had a counterclockwise (or clockwise if I’m looking down at my chest) swirl of hot, creamy butter that sends a wave of calm over me. But the calm passes much too quick and I’m left with anxiety/nervousness in its place. This is the second time today that this has happened. I know that this has to do with Bill – but I don’t know what or why. The answer sits on the tip of my tongue and I’m helpless to extract it. Like so much else that is going on with this side of my life – I can feel the answer, but I can’t grasp it. Very frustrating. There are times like now where all I want to do is bang my head against the wall until something jars loose. Of course – I hate pain – so this wouldn’t last long. All I can do is to pray that something comes to the surface — and soon — not only for my sanity, but for Bill and Ted too.
And on that note — I need to get this crusty mud off my face and hit the sack. Maybe I’ll have a dream that will reveal an answer or two?