Sex and the Single Woman

Sex and the single life. For most people who are part of a couple, the two just do not go together. Every month I try to get together with my high-school peeps. Each and every lunch I attend – I get asked if I’m dating anyone. I always answer – no. To which the follow up question always is — don’t you miss sex?

Who says I’m not having sex?

Why do I have to be dating one person in order to have sex?

Do men get asked if they’re having sex if single? I’ll go out on a limb and say NO. The attitude towards men & sex is completely different than women & sex. Especially since now it appears birth control is a lifestyle drug and Viagra is a needed commodity. But don’t get me started on the Supreme Court, Hobby Lobby, and Eden Organics.

Sex and the single woman. What is one to do?

Don’t get me wrong – it can be difficult to be in this position – especially if you do not see yourself with any choices.

As I see it I (and you) have 6 choices:

  1. Celibacy
  2. Self-love
  3. Friends w/benefits
  4. One or two night stands
  5. String of sex partners
  6. OBE sex

Of course there’s serial monogamy and juggling a few dates at the same time- same with being the other woman. But those are a step outside being single.

Personally, I’m a fan of a combination of 2, 4, & 6.

There is always a time and a place for #1 and there’s no shame to choosing it.

#3 always go south. One or the other will start to develop romantic feelings for the other one. It happens 98% of the time. Once there’s a difference in feelings – the friendship crumbles. I value my friends far too much to see them go away.

#5 is just too much work. Been there, done that, it exhausts me. Of course if I had access to a male brothel – I might reconsider.

So you ask, what’s the difference between #4 and #5? With #4 there’s a bit more than just sex – dinner, drinks, a movie. #5 it’s straight sex. Sex partners from #5 usually tend to be married or in a relationship – void of sex. As I know how important it is when you share your intimate energy with another – everyone they have slept with in #5- your energy absorbs.

If you find yourself single with the desire for sex – never think of yourself without options. They’re there. But you have to be willing to sometimes travel outside of your comfort zone to find them.

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