When you’re in a relationship at times it can be difficult to want sex the same time as your partner wants sex. When you first get together, you’re in infatuation mode. You both always want sex. Then as time goes on and life gets in the way – that’s when you really notice the difference in libido levels.
It’s important to identify your own and your partner’s libido and using it as a starting point to discussing the kind of sex you both need to keep you interested long-term.
The libido types are adapted from When Your Sex Drives Don’t Match: Discover Your Libido Types to Create a Mutually Satisfying Sex Lifeby Dr. Sandra Pertot.
10 Libido Types
- Sensual – sex is an expression of love. Emotional intimacy is a deal breaker.
- Erotic – sex needs to be intense and lusty. Vanilla sex is ok, provided there are more vibrant sessions included in the mix.
- Dependent – sex is used as a stress release and you become agitated if denied it.
- Reactive – sex is about giving not receiving. It can stem from a low sex drive or that you need to see your partner turned on before you are turned on.
- Entitled – you have little understanding of your partner’s sexual needs – you think you’re “owed” a certain amount and type of sex.
- Addictive – sex is something you find so appealing it’s hard to manage. It controls you rather than the other way around and you’re prone to cheat.
- Stressed – sex is worrying. You feel under pressure to perform and you worry your inadequate.
- Disinterested – sex provides little pleasure and you rarely desire it. It can be the result of distressing sex that’s squashed any natural desire.
- Detached – sex is good but competing distractions put you off and you emotionally withdraw from your partner and sex.
- Compulsive – sex is only satisfying if you follow a specific ritual. Fetishists fall into this type of libido. Unless your partner shares your fetish its selfish sex that involves little connection with your partner.
Which type are you? Your partner? You can be a combination of libidos but there is one that is usually dominant.